The End?

Well I must say It's been nice at University, but if I'm not destined to go on and gain a degree then so be it...

I can't believe I've done so badly. I thought what I was doing was good enough, but there's always things you miss, like in my 3D work I never knew that you had to name everything you created until just recently.  Having to re-do all my 3D work in 3 weeks is just not at all possible, is it? On top of having to write another 15 or so blogs and do a lot of visual design.

At the moment, I couldn't be more miserable and depressed, I've failed and I know it, everyone keeps telling that you're only human and that 'they' will give you a chance to re-do stuff over summer, but I honestly can't see it happening. They just wasn't enough time to do everything that was asked of me at formative assessment, I passed one part of the course but the other two I just don't see it happening. Only just recently I found out that University is about teaching yourself and I realise what a complete massive idiot I've been all the way through the course asking for help on just about everything, the thing is I never knew that! I honestly didn't know that, and I've always been a slow learner, but in the recent months gone by i've enjoyed it like doing digital paints that I think I've gotten quite good at now? Well I don't think so, I mean I don't ever get any likes or comments of praise on my work.

Like I said before there's no hiding from it, I'm a failure and I know it. I thought I'd have done better but if given a chance to go back, then I'll re-do everything over summer if it takes it. I've messed up and I said to myself in my first blog I'm bottom of the pile out of everyone on the course and how good I am as an Artist and i still am today. It's like I've been relegated, i've been struggling at the bottom end of the class all along throughout the year and now it's time to just face what I had coming to me in the first place.

I wanted to re-do all my projects in 3D but I only found the time to finish just two of them and the other one was about 3/4th of the way done. I was rushing so much that I screwed up the folders on my CD that I handed in, I just wish we had like an extra hour, if I had I could of finalized everything, but there was so little time I just couldn't think. I've never been so stressed in my life and now I'm in a spiraling depression because of it, but it's my fault.
I even screwed the folders up on the disc but it won't let me change it and I forgot to put one of my projects on it. In fact one of my projects is in another project folder. It's been one crazy year and the thing is if I was this bad in industry I wouldn't get a job anywhere, but I've said to myself if I do make it back I'll do nothing but work myself to death as work next year is to final degree so it's very important.

Living on my own away from home and the pressure of all the work really has hit me like a 10 ton of bricks, I've gone about it the wrong way, I have no excuses.

I gave it my best, but if my best isn't good enough then so be it...